Deck the halls with Mcain supporting ads.

So Madison and I are in the studio today and he is setting up his pedal board and we were looking up the order of where to put which pedal and some guy had a list that seems to work pretty good and then he posted this. I have no idea what it has to do with anything guitar related but nevertheless...it was there. I laughed really hard. You might not find it as funny but whatever.

Writing...

What happens when my brilliance is now ignorance?

When my truth is no longer reality?

What happens when all these words I've said just hang off the map to drift off into the far reaches of outer space?

...where time and regret are the source of who's to say?

I am but a mortal trying to be God.

Let's just say that my love is only but the shallow end.

Is it possible to drown in yours?

See, i was the lord once...and my flock left, my love grew stale and i had nothing left to give.

I heard your never-ending in every sense of the word.

Hello, my name is Creation.

Nice to meet you, Creator.

Yes, i would love to take a walk. The night sky is beautiful.

Let us talk.

I have some issues.

And you ARE the solution.

Dancing Stars...

You've been dancing the night away
And I'm performing with a price to pay
I can't see you from where I am
And I can't be the one to take your hand

And the sun shall set on my anger
And the moon will find the feelings still linger here
And i'll hold on tightly

When the anger goes...
All you know is that you just can't stand to be alone anymore
And you find you can't hide your heart away
When the bitterness comes...
All you see is a face you used to fall in love with
And the letters will remind you again

The stars they dance on the ground tonight
The wind takes you up to flight
But it's not the same
You and I have changed and this heart is enraged
And i'm fading, I am fading.


When the anger goes...
All you know is that you just can't stand to be alone anymore
And you find you can't hide your heart away
When the bitterness comes...
All you see is a face you used to fall in love with
And the letters will remind you again

These feelings won't last now
God if you're real then pull me out

These feelings won't last now
God if you're real then pull me out tonight,

Prayer (part 1)

"Jesus called the Twelve to him, and sent them out in pairs. He gave them authority and power to deal with the evil opposition. He sent them off with these instructions:
"don't think you need alot of extra for this. You are the equipment...""
Mark 6:7-9 - The Message Remix

Why do we pray for healing? Is it because we have been taught that and never questioned why? Is it because we have no faith?

In the passage above it says authority was given and Jesus even says it again before he ascends to heaven.

Ever since I was a tiny kid I've seen people spend hours praying for the guy or gal that was in the wheelchair and had to face the heavy disappointment as that peron came out of the church with the condition still lingering.

Something I've picked up from the stories of Jesus: never once did that man pray for someone to be healed (correct me if i'm wrong), never once did He ever face the questions of why someone wasn't healed. Every single person that came to Jesus walked away whole.

In todays world...we have the power and ability to speak and have illness disappear. Yes, it'd be in the name of Christ but we have that authority to speak and have every single physical and emotional discomfort bow at the name of Jesus.

So again to restate my question: Why do we pray?

I mean I could be completely wrong but this is just my opinion...as far as healing in concerned i feel that it is a genuine waste of time.

For example, my dad has boughten me a Fender Telecaster guitar and given it to me.

I have the right to play it when i want.

I have the right to play it how i want.

If i go to him every time I want to play it and ask him if it's ok, I am wasting time and besides getting frustrated he wouldn't know how to respond!

I feel like that's how we treat the gifts and abilities God has given us. I believe we need to step up and take ownership of these things because there is only so much that God can do. Granted, he is all powerful but He created us to use us and to use us effectively.

Daddy's Character

Goodnight to all ye fears.
Fueled by disappointments
Accompanied by tears

Goodbye all ye sorrows
Resting your head
These doubts, you'll borrow

Stars light my way
Sun ignite my joy today
And may this negative find its way to fade

From a beggar to a prince
I thought my life was finished
but daddy you took me in...

My heart belongs to you
For you remain steady and true
And all those times I forgot about you
You were there through and through

God is love

I am tired.

I've learned that after so long of anxious thoughts, happiness, tears, ect...I have worn myself out.

For so long I have tried to wrap my mind around love which ultimately is trying to figure out God.

One of my favorite bands has a quote in one of their songs that says:

"Is your love really love? Is my love really love? I think that love isn't love unless its love til the end. Is your god really God? Is my god really God? I think that God isn't God if He fits inside our heads"

Needless to say, I can't stop listening to this song just because of the message it sends. God is love. The end. No philosophies, no theories, no anything! God created love their for meaning thats what He is. You can define love be the characteristics of God.

I don't wanna hear or come up with anymore "answers" it's all crap.

God is love. The End

New Daylight song...this is just the acoustic version and as I am writing this it is 6:46 and i wrote this song an hour ago and recorded it on my iSIGHT and presto! You got a video! Not great musical ability haha. Um, this is my letter to God about the last few months of my life.

Let me know what you think.






i've been moving mountains on my back
And I don't know if i can escape from myself
It's the simple things that get me down
Maybe one day I'll come around

Breathe in deep, take it slow
I'm in your arms and thats as far as I'll ever go

Legend has it that you walked on waves
And someone said that your love never fails
I don't know why you would pick me
With all that said I have no choice but to believe

Breathe in deep, hold me now
I'm in your arms and thats as far as I'll ever go

Here I am to Worship (cover)

I recorded Here I am to Worship its one of my favs...

(right click/save target as/download)

http://aaronwagner.webs.com/Here%20I%20am%20to%20Worship.mp3

Oh, the humanity!

I had an interesting debate with myself this morning.

See, i'm not a very political guy. In fact for the most part, I hate politics but i do have my beliefs and opinions about certain issues.

As i sat on my porch swing this morning, the wind was slightly blowing, the fire engines across the street were testing sirens and horns, the sky was cloudy and I found myself in between the tasks of reading a book my friend Cassi lent me, Rob Bells, "Sex God" and vigorously searching for meaning behind why I believed the things I did.

In this book Sex God, Rob said something that hit me hard:

"How we treat creation reflects how we feel about the creator"

Wow.

I then started thinking about the death penalty. I have, in the past agreed with it, supported it and for the most part supported politicians who have done so as well. I mean, if a guy rapes and stabs a little girl to death (true story)...he should die. Right? I mean, what if that was my little sister?

As Rob's quote was ringing in my ears i brought myself to the biggest question of all:

Would Jesus ever be the one to push the button for those lethal chemicals to enter that persons body? Would He be the one that would even resort to that as a solution?

Ponder.

I think there may be a second part to this later.

Blazing...

The clock was at a stand still. I found myself sitting in the parking lot of my church empty and restless to feel worthless. It was a moment in time where it felt as if my very lungs avoided breath as the tears flowed down. I had just been broken.

I remember shouting to God searching for any sign of redemption but finding none in the bitterness that was dwelling in my heart. It was so hard to let go of. I realized that I was searching for a love I had been talking about for years. I love that I said I knew; one that I said i had experienced. So why was today any different? Why was it that I now felt so hollow?

I could spit out theories and ideas about why but it was because i was soley basing my faith on everything going well. Not Him. I think He used it as a way to shake my foundations in order to wake me up and say "buddy, its you and I that matters...I'm all you need."

This wasn't a revelation but a reminder of who I serve.

My goals, dreams, ambitions, cares, worries, stress, smiles, laughter...and my heart, belong to Him. He is my goal, my hopes, my dreams, my love. His promise is that He would never let me feel empty with Him...and as I search for His heart for each moment in time...I am fulfilled...I desire nothing else.

My God, savior, best friend, brother, creator...daddy...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I walked away because I thought I could do it on my own, that I could do it without you. You are everything. Gladly will I remain with you...in your arms of love.

-Aaron

Those three words are said too much...

In the song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol there's a line in it that has really spoken to me:

"I'm not quite sure how to say how i feel. Those three words [i love you] are said too much than not enough"

Lately about 80% of the time the words "I love you" are so...meaningless...so cliche for..."wow, you're cool" they mean almost nothing to me anymore.

Its a scary thought to think that those words could also grow stale when we are talking about our divine romance with the father.

The biggest shame in our lives is not understanding the depth of God's love and not being able to experience that.

In my life it's been hard to come to God about things because I assume He's like everyone who's left me to be without even a goodbye and lately when i worship or pray and can't find the words to say i just sit there "i love you, i love you i LOVE you, you love me, you love me you LOVE me."

I know I am rambling but the power in the fact that the God who speaks life into existence loves ME?! That is powerful. The fact that He wants ME?! That's mind blowing.

His thoughts are what matter. His love is what matters...

At this point I'm not sure what to do to make myself not grow stale of love with other people because I know its so vital to have in my life but I am relying on God not to just focus on the people that have bailed but to focus on the great people He has placed in my life and the fact that He promised He'd be here to stay for good.

The Weight Is A Gift...

"Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said: "My grace is all you need. My power is best in weakness."" 2 Corinthians 12:8-9

Three different times Paul begged... He came to God maybe alot like i have lately... In my car, yelling, screaming, crying, feeling angry, bitter, broken, used, shallow, selfish, and utterly, utterly wretched.

I came to this verse in one of these bittersweet moments...and I was taken to this place where I saw myself laying in the lap of God...sleeping...as he held me close he whispered "my grace is all you need. My power is best in weakness." He said it over and over...I felt at the moment that my soul was rising from the depths.

See, all the time we find ourselves in these spots where it feels as if nothing makes sense and it hurts... you can literally feel your stomach and heart ignite as you can't figure out the reasons why. But my friends, I'm learning...

Its beautiful.

God is perfect. He is the perfect friend. He is the perfect father. He is the perfect creator...

Rely.

Like me, you can yell, scream, cry, and you can try and wrap your head around the way that this world spins...but in the end...

Give in.

In the passage above, Paul goes on to say how he can find pride in being weak. I can't say that I have ever felt that way. The last year of my life has been the most challenging roller coaster I've ever been on and when I am feeling like things are out of line, my first instinct is to control. But what does God say?

"My grace is all you need."

That means, I dont need the worlds approval, I don't need to control, I don't need to fake like its all ok. All i need is God's all sufficient grace. Nothing else matters and when that grace is relied on...it brings you to a place where the mountains move effortlessly...so take the trials as a blessing cause guess what?

You are about to witness God in that trial...and He is GOING to move massively...and it will come together better than anything you could come up with.

The Cross

For most of my life, my problem has been self-hatred...I'm the type of person to beat myself up for the things I do wrong. I think that's a common thing in the teenagers of America and the sad part is that most teenagers really do buy into the thoughts that they are someone not worth liking and the even sadder part is that this is most common in Christian teenagers.

What I have learned to help myself get over this was a hard road. The trouble was, growing up in the church, most of the things that I heard to help this became cliche and it made my heart hard towards believing them.

1. Jesus would've died for me if I was the last one on earth...

True statement. And the thing is...Christ didn't die for my ability to hate myself...but to free myself of it...and I can't say that I would die for something I didn't do...He thought of each and everyone of us...

2. Believing that God doesn't love you because of your mistakes is you saying that you are above the blood of Jesus...

The creator of everything and the very air you breathe right now...made himself a man...a man that felt pain, rose above temptation and was perfect...He was the ultimate sacrifice...self hatred is something that says that His sacrifice wasn't good enough for you...

That sounds horrible but its the God honest truth...

The thing that has helped me is to remember that above all God desires me more than I desire Him...

Camping

The wagner family and madison and kenzie child are going camping. We leave tonite and will be back sunday night. I'll tell you this...i love technology, i am blogging through my phone! Pictures daily!!! Woohoo!!! Anyways, we brought our guitars and laptops (like most rugged mountain do) in hopes of making some great tunes...

Fragile love...

Love is the act of learning the song of someones heart...and singing it back to them when they've forgotten...

Photo by: hannah angier

Now is the time!

Christians...followers of christ...friends of God...whatever is the new hip thing to call ourselves:

We are failing and failing miserably...

I'm sick of our little: "It's not a religion...its a relationship" thing...we think dumbing down our faith is what gets people to listen...WHO CARES if they think you're religious? They'll believe what they see IN you...they'll believe when they see that it's because of YOUR God that differences are being made through us...the whole coining of our relationship not religion thing is slowly destroying us...we are focusing on the wrong issue...

The world sees us and says "hey...they sure like to talk about God but it is kinda dumb because nothing really happens and then they judge me for not believing"

I'm the first to admit that my direct response is..."NO...i'm not like them..."

BUT I AM!

I judge, I gossip, I find myself talking about worldly things...and doing wordly things....

The greatest boxer of all time was Muhammad Ali...his phrase was "Float like a butterfly, sting like a be" That phrase meant that he could dance around and look good but also have some substance behind it...

I think Christians like to dance a lot without much substance...

Forget being labeled a Christian...it doesn't matter! It was a word to describe people who's lives were being followed by signs and wonders unlike any other religion out there! People came to Christ because they saw the fruit in our lives and today we settle for judement, gossip, ect. and as much as we claim that not to be us...they are right about the lot of us...see...they may do the same things and aren't put in the light about it but they aren't also claiming to be part of a higher calling like us...

Over time, we started to stop dreaming, to stop believing...just accepting God and being ok with not making any impact...and the world around us saw...we liked to dance with no substance behind it...giving the Christian faith a bad name...so then we decided to find clever ways to make ourselves relevant so we could blend in a little more...we hate talking to people because they say "hey you're religious..." so how about we show them what we are really about...show them who our God is and stop trying to be clever disguising who we were called to be...

LETS START BELIEVING!!!!!

The creator of the universe is INSIDE OF US!!!! We have so much untapped potential...i'm sick of not seeing signs and wonders follow me...it is time...this world needs us so bad...there are so many lives begging to be saved that haven't seen how big our God is because we haven't showed them!

"Now is the time for us to shine...shine with the face of Christ devine...no comprise for all heaven cries...now is the time" -Martin Smith

The Love That Never Fails

God is a friend...the best kind.

I've had my best friend stare me in the eye and lie to me and not lose any sleep over it. I've been hurt and betrayed more by my best friends that anyone else?

But when has God ever done that.

I think what propels us into being able to obey God is understanding that He will not ever fail us. His plan in flawless. It's completely impossible to say that He has ever done something that has affected me in a negative way. His love never fails. I can't exactly put it into words that you haven't been hearing since sunday school but understand that is what moves us into obedience.

A word of encouragement...

Here is a conversation that I had with my youth pastor yesterday over text message. He's the guy that got me into ministry...but anyways, life has been quite the adventure and as usual Pastor David comes through...even over texts...

Aaron: Pastor David, it's been way to long since I've told you how much I love you. I love you alot.

Pastor David: I love you too bro, hope you had a great 4th, we are out of town and come back weds. How is everything?

Aaron: Alright. Just trying to keep busy.

Pastor David: I understand, hang in there, the world needs you...

Love that guy...

New worship songs are on the way, I am laying down guitar and vocals right now and should have an EP out soon...

My daily bread...

I think the biggest struggle in my attempt to be like Christ is my distractions and all the things I have to do; worship teams, bands, working, meetings, and so forth...all these things are usually what I use to justify the time that I'm too busy for God and can't commit time in a day to Him.

I'm not even going to begin to give you the impression that my life has been great...in fact the last six months or so have quite honestly been the worst times of my life. I have found myself always feeling like I'm lost in the woods and God is just sitting there not saying anything knowing exactly where I should be. I've been actually quite angry at God and the fact that I feel like he's not being of any help at all...but in the last week or so I have come to the realization that I have been trying to find my way. I haven't asked Him what He desires as far as how I should go about things...it's been a very "me, me me,"mentality.

My very problem lately is that I have been frustrated with people who say they love me and their actions would beg to differ entirely. It has been quite an up and down rollercoaster and I've been so angry and bitter towards alot of people.

But how have my actions towards God been any different? I claim to love God with all my heart, I claim to follow Him. But how have my actions aligned with my words?

They haven't...at all.

When you love someone, you desire to sacrifice your desires for them. I haven't been willing to sacrifice anything lately!

A few days ago, so much anxiety and fear built up in me that I had no where else to go except to Him; and let me tell you...there is freedom in turning off the t.v., shutting off your computer AND your phone, blasting the iPOD with some phenomenal worship and soaking, praying, finding out and experiencing Gods love. I'm not saying this is how you have to do it by any means but it worked for me and i HAVE to be with Him. I NEED to make time for Him...my true love...He has never lied to me, he has never hurt me, and will never do so. How can i not make time for such a great friend?


With all distractions aside,
Aaron

King Forever

This is the first ever worship song I've written. Keep in mind that the recording isnt outstanding but its the rough idea. I wrote it one night on my trampoline looking at the stars.

for the mp3: http://aaronwagner.webs.com/King%20Forever.mp3


KING FOREVER



You are the love that never fails
You are the grace that always forgives
Who am I, I've done nothing to deserve this

Here I am surrendering to you
I lift my heart so you can make it new

In all of your power and all of your goodness, You amaze me, You amaze me
In all of your beauty and all of your wonder, You amaze me, You amaze me

You are the joy that can't stop dancing
You are the peace that always sustains
Your love is a river that is always flowing
So let it rain down (Rain down on me)

Hallelujah, King forever, I adore you, my life's yours

In all of your power and all of your goodness, You amaze me, You amaze me
In all of your beauty and all of your wonder, You amaze me, You amaze me

Hallelujah, King forever, I adore you, my life's yours

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Don't Speak

I just wrote a worship song called Don't Speak and recorded in a few minutes on Garageband so there are some funky sounds and stuff but this is the basic idea until i have the full band version done...

I wrote this song after being with God at a time where I felt SO horrible and i just was rambling to him about my problems and i heard him speak and he said "Aaron, just let me hold you..." so click below and check it out...more worship is being recorded...

http://aaronwagner.webs.com/Don%27t%20Speak.mp3


Here's the lyrics:

How longs it been since we've been here alone?
However long its been, its been way too long
I'm in love with you, Savior

How longs it been since I've lifted my hands?
I've surrendered to a life thought of by wicked men
I need you now, Jesus

In the moments I should beg you to stay
In the moments I don't know what to say you tell me

Sometimes the best thing is not to say anything
Sometimes the best thing is not to say anything

How longs it been since I've been on my kness
I've bowed to many things but unlike you none of it was worthy
Like you are

In the moments I should beg you to stay
In the moments I don't know what to say you tell me

Sometimes the best thing is not to say anything

How longs it been since you paid for my sins?
You took this wretched heart and you made it new again, Jesus

Worship?

So for as long as I've been writing songs, here and there i get the inspiration to do a worship song and i sit down with a guitar in hand and pound out a verse and come up with a chorus like: "How great is our God, sing with me...oh crap.." (already a song)

About a week and a half ago or something I was driving and I remember that in God's word he says "You have not because you ask not"

Wow.

It's easy to write love songs. I do it alot. Worship...not easy for me...so i asked.

For 20 minutes I just talked to God about how much more at home i felt playing music for his glory and how I REALLY wanted to ability to write songs about him and how good He was...

I'm only at one complete song right now and I'm actually pleased with it but I have a head full of ideas and I'm excited to see exactly what God does with it. I dunno...maybe I'll be able to release a worship record...

A new day...

The greatest thing that God has given us is a new day and on this particular day I had a random hankerin' to start a blog. Myspace is so freshman year. I want to blog about meaningful things and update on my calling to change the world around me.