Daddy's Character

Goodnight to all ye fears.
Fueled by disappointments
Accompanied by tears

Goodbye all ye sorrows
Resting your head
These doubts, you'll borrow

Stars light my way
Sun ignite my joy today
And may this negative find its way to fade

From a beggar to a prince
I thought my life was finished
but daddy you took me in...

My heart belongs to you
For you remain steady and true
And all those times I forgot about you
You were there through and through

God is love

I am tired.

I've learned that after so long of anxious thoughts, happiness, tears, ect...I have worn myself out.

For so long I have tried to wrap my mind around love which ultimately is trying to figure out God.

One of my favorite bands has a quote in one of their songs that says:

"Is your love really love? Is my love really love? I think that love isn't love unless its love til the end. Is your god really God? Is my god really God? I think that God isn't God if He fits inside our heads"

Needless to say, I can't stop listening to this song just because of the message it sends. God is love. The end. No philosophies, no theories, no anything! God created love their for meaning thats what He is. You can define love be the characteristics of God.

I don't wanna hear or come up with anymore "answers" it's all crap.

God is love. The End

New Daylight song...this is just the acoustic version and as I am writing this it is 6:46 and i wrote this song an hour ago and recorded it on my iSIGHT and presto! You got a video! Not great musical ability haha. Um, this is my letter to God about the last few months of my life.

Let me know what you think.






i've been moving mountains on my back
And I don't know if i can escape from myself
It's the simple things that get me down
Maybe one day I'll come around

Breathe in deep, take it slow
I'm in your arms and thats as far as I'll ever go

Legend has it that you walked on waves
And someone said that your love never fails
I don't know why you would pick me
With all that said I have no choice but to believe

Breathe in deep, hold me now
I'm in your arms and thats as far as I'll ever go

Here I am to Worship (cover)

I recorded Here I am to Worship its one of my favs...

(right click/save target as/download)

http://aaronwagner.webs.com/Here%20I%20am%20to%20Worship.mp3

Oh, the humanity!

I had an interesting debate with myself this morning.

See, i'm not a very political guy. In fact for the most part, I hate politics but i do have my beliefs and opinions about certain issues.

As i sat on my porch swing this morning, the wind was slightly blowing, the fire engines across the street were testing sirens and horns, the sky was cloudy and I found myself in between the tasks of reading a book my friend Cassi lent me, Rob Bells, "Sex God" and vigorously searching for meaning behind why I believed the things I did.

In this book Sex God, Rob said something that hit me hard:

"How we treat creation reflects how we feel about the creator"

Wow.

I then started thinking about the death penalty. I have, in the past agreed with it, supported it and for the most part supported politicians who have done so as well. I mean, if a guy rapes and stabs a little girl to death (true story)...he should die. Right? I mean, what if that was my little sister?

As Rob's quote was ringing in my ears i brought myself to the biggest question of all:

Would Jesus ever be the one to push the button for those lethal chemicals to enter that persons body? Would He be the one that would even resort to that as a solution?

Ponder.

I think there may be a second part to this later.

Blazing...

The clock was at a stand still. I found myself sitting in the parking lot of my church empty and restless to feel worthless. It was a moment in time where it felt as if my very lungs avoided breath as the tears flowed down. I had just been broken.

I remember shouting to God searching for any sign of redemption but finding none in the bitterness that was dwelling in my heart. It was so hard to let go of. I realized that I was searching for a love I had been talking about for years. I love that I said I knew; one that I said i had experienced. So why was today any different? Why was it that I now felt so hollow?

I could spit out theories and ideas about why but it was because i was soley basing my faith on everything going well. Not Him. I think He used it as a way to shake my foundations in order to wake me up and say "buddy, its you and I that matters...I'm all you need."

This wasn't a revelation but a reminder of who I serve.

My goals, dreams, ambitions, cares, worries, stress, smiles, laughter...and my heart, belong to Him. He is my goal, my hopes, my dreams, my love. His promise is that He would never let me feel empty with Him...and as I search for His heart for each moment in time...I am fulfilled...I desire nothing else.

My God, savior, best friend, brother, creator...daddy...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I walked away because I thought I could do it on my own, that I could do it without you. You are everything. Gladly will I remain with you...in your arms of love.

-Aaron

Those three words are said too much...

In the song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol there's a line in it that has really spoken to me:

"I'm not quite sure how to say how i feel. Those three words [i love you] are said too much than not enough"

Lately about 80% of the time the words "I love you" are so...meaningless...so cliche for..."wow, you're cool" they mean almost nothing to me anymore.

Its a scary thought to think that those words could also grow stale when we are talking about our divine romance with the father.

The biggest shame in our lives is not understanding the depth of God's love and not being able to experience that.

In my life it's been hard to come to God about things because I assume He's like everyone who's left me to be without even a goodbye and lately when i worship or pray and can't find the words to say i just sit there "i love you, i love you i LOVE you, you love me, you love me you LOVE me."

I know I am rambling but the power in the fact that the God who speaks life into existence loves ME?! That is powerful. The fact that He wants ME?! That's mind blowing.

His thoughts are what matter. His love is what matters...

At this point I'm not sure what to do to make myself not grow stale of love with other people because I know its so vital to have in my life but I am relying on God not to just focus on the people that have bailed but to focus on the great people He has placed in my life and the fact that He promised He'd be here to stay for good.

The Weight Is A Gift...

"Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said: "My grace is all you need. My power is best in weakness."" 2 Corinthians 12:8-9

Three different times Paul begged... He came to God maybe alot like i have lately... In my car, yelling, screaming, crying, feeling angry, bitter, broken, used, shallow, selfish, and utterly, utterly wretched.

I came to this verse in one of these bittersweet moments...and I was taken to this place where I saw myself laying in the lap of God...sleeping...as he held me close he whispered "my grace is all you need. My power is best in weakness." He said it over and over...I felt at the moment that my soul was rising from the depths.

See, all the time we find ourselves in these spots where it feels as if nothing makes sense and it hurts... you can literally feel your stomach and heart ignite as you can't figure out the reasons why. But my friends, I'm learning...

Its beautiful.

God is perfect. He is the perfect friend. He is the perfect father. He is the perfect creator...

Rely.

Like me, you can yell, scream, cry, and you can try and wrap your head around the way that this world spins...but in the end...

Give in.

In the passage above, Paul goes on to say how he can find pride in being weak. I can't say that I have ever felt that way. The last year of my life has been the most challenging roller coaster I've ever been on and when I am feeling like things are out of line, my first instinct is to control. But what does God say?

"My grace is all you need."

That means, I dont need the worlds approval, I don't need to control, I don't need to fake like its all ok. All i need is God's all sufficient grace. Nothing else matters and when that grace is relied on...it brings you to a place where the mountains move effortlessly...so take the trials as a blessing cause guess what?

You are about to witness God in that trial...and He is GOING to move massively...and it will come together better than anything you could come up with.