Blazing...

The clock was at a stand still. I found myself sitting in the parking lot of my church empty and restless to feel worthless. It was a moment in time where it felt as if my very lungs avoided breath as the tears flowed down. I had just been broken.

I remember shouting to God searching for any sign of redemption but finding none in the bitterness that was dwelling in my heart. It was so hard to let go of. I realized that I was searching for a love I had been talking about for years. I love that I said I knew; one that I said i had experienced. So why was today any different? Why was it that I now felt so hollow?

I could spit out theories and ideas about why but it was because i was soley basing my faith on everything going well. Not Him. I think He used it as a way to shake my foundations in order to wake me up and say "buddy, its you and I that matters...I'm all you need."

This wasn't a revelation but a reminder of who I serve.

My goals, dreams, ambitions, cares, worries, stress, smiles, laughter...and my heart, belong to Him. He is my goal, my hopes, my dreams, my love. His promise is that He would never let me feel empty with Him...and as I search for His heart for each moment in time...I am fulfilled...I desire nothing else.

My God, savior, best friend, brother, creator...daddy...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I walked away because I thought I could do it on my own, that I could do it without you. You are everything. Gladly will I remain with you...in your arms of love.

-Aaron